THERE’S A LION IN MY BACKYARD
By Karen J. Williams
“911,” said
the operator in a sing-song fashion,
“What is the nature of your emergency?”
Gripping the
receiver in her sweating palm, Ruanne, feeling scared and nervous said loudly,
“there’s a lion in my backyard.” She
paced around the brightly colored yellow kitchen as far as the extension would
allow her.
The
operator, taken aback, repeated her question.
“Ma’am, did you say there is a
lion in your back yard?”
“Yes. Yes, “
said Ruanne, continuing to pace and peering out of her kitchen window from what
she considered a safe distance from the big cat lurking in her flower beds, and
trampling her garden with his big paws. “There’s a huge lion in my
backyard. Did you hear that?
“Yes ma’a,
how did the lion get in your back yard?”
“How would I
know?”
“Well
ma’am,” said the operator attempting to control the laughter. “It isn’t everyday we get a call about a lion
in one’s back yard. What is the lion
doing ma’am?”
“Wha…what is
the lion doing? Her voice beginning to
rise, the lion turns in her direction.
“I’m looking out of my kitchen window…Oh, no, he’s coming up on my
deck.” She quickly pulled the curtains
to. “Oh my God, it’s coming this way.”
The lion
slowly made his way to the deck. The
scent of the flowers and dust from the garden filled his nostrils. He sneezed and shook his mighty mane. Another more pleasing aroma filled the
air. It came from some where beyond the
deck. He approached his prey, sniffing,
huffing and stalking as lions do before they move in for the kill.
Ruanne
looked on in disbelief as the lion came near.
She looked into his steely gaze and was once again filled with fear.
“Ma’am,”
said the operator. I’m dispatching an
officer now.”
“An
officer? Honey you betta send in the
calvary. My address is 1250 Second
Street.”
“Thank you
ma’am. That address is 1250 Second Street…is
that correct?”
“Mm hmmm,
yes,” said Ruanne staying away from the window.
“I can hear him on the deck now….ooooo”, she said shaking in fear.
“Ma’am, I’ll
stay on the phone with you. I suggest
you leave the kitchen and close the door behind you. Do you have a door between the kitchen and
say, a dining area?”
It was then
that Ruanne realized that the kitchen door leading out to the deck was open…the
flimsy weather-worn wooden screen door is all that stood between her and the
lion. She looked about the kitchen for a
weapon, still holding the phone, she stumbled into a chair, making a racket as
she reached for a nearby large sauce pan to use as a weapon.
***
With the
sauce pan raised, Ruanne tiptoed as quietly as possible to the kitchen
door. The door hinges, in need of oil, screeched
loudly as they had been doing for more than a month. “not now,” she whispered softly, “quiet,
shhhh, not a sound.” Her words were lost, the door creaked and cried loudly
before she closed it. Feeling relieved
for a moment she stood with her back against the door until she heard the
lion’s soft huffing and low grunts.
Moving her
ample body and with stealth, she tiptoed quickly to the dining room and closed
that door behind her. In the living room
she picked up the cordless phone and spoke with the operator. “I’m in the living room now. The lion is on the deck. He put his huge plate-sized paws on the
kitchen window and rubbed hi nose against the class. His long nails clicked against the window as
he clawed at the invisible barrier. His
nose in the air, he caught the scent of Ruanne’s frying chicken.
***
Normally,
Ruanne took great pleasure in admiring her lovely home. The beautiful sage green shag carpet
complemented the soft yello walls and floral sofa. Today she was too scared to look at her
precious surroundings. Like a streak she
heaved her heavy body up the stairs to the second story. Earlier in the day she had gone to the beauty
shop. Her hair was in curls that now
bounced on her head like the curls on Shirley Temple as she tap-danced. They bounced and flounced in her eyes and
about her face. With her free hand she
swiped at the curls and grasped the banister jettisoning herself onto the
upstairs landing with a thud. The
cordless phone clattered across the floor.
The operator was frantically calling out, “Ma’am, are you there? Are you there? What’s happening?”
Struggling
under the bulk of her weight, she managed to crawl into her bedroom window to
get a glimpse of the lion, still on her deck, now scratching at the door.
The aroma of
burning chicken drifted up the stairs.
“Ooooo, no, not my crispy, spicy, tantalizing , mouth-watering golden
brown chicken. She yelled into the phone. “My chicken is
burning to a crisp. My dinner!
She spoke
into the phone, “my chicken is burning, he smells my chicken.
“Be calm
ma’am. The police and AC are nearly there.”
“AC,” asked
Ruanne.
“Animal
Control ma’am. They’re meeting the
police at your house.
Ruanne heard
a sound coming from the front of her house.
She crossed the hall landing
where she saw the police, with flashing light and animal control had
pulled up in front of her house. She
raised the window and called out to them.
Four officers, and several zoo personnel with a large van.
She bounded
down the stairs, she opened the front door with a jerk. She began to jabber, the policeman raised his
hand to silence her. “Ma’m, show me
where the lion is. Ruanne, speechless,
pointed to the back of the house…”go through the dining room, into the
kitchen. He’s on the deck pawing at the
screen door. He smells my chicken.
“MY
CHICKEN!” She hurried the policemen along
and into the kitchen. The put out the
flame under the now burned to a char chicken, smoke hung in the air.
By the time
the police opened the door, Animal Control had tranquilized the lion and he
staggered about on the deck bumping into and knocking over her furniture and
potted plants. He was out like a
light. They managed to get him into the
van and hurried off in the direction of the zoo.
“You’re safe
now ma’am,” said the handsome officer.
He was a big one.”
“Mmm hmmm,”
she said eyeing the good looking man in front of her, batting her eyes and
squirming a bit.
“How did he
get out?” she inquired, touching her heart.
“Right now
we have no idea. The zoo will
investigate and ensure this doesn’t happen again. It could have been worse. No harm done.” He said as he walked to the
front door, eager to leave the wondering of eyes of Ruanne.
***
Later that
evening after ordering Chinese take-out, she sat watching tv and discovered the
local news channel had filmed Animal Control
brining the huge beast to the van.
“Too bad I didn’t know,” she thought had
envaded.
“Girl,” she
said, “Mmm hum, there was a lion in my back yard.
, “I could
have been on tv.”
